my entire life is just a test to see if i’ll commit suicide or homicide first
buck-barnes: i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run its course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
Fuck that. I’ve done nothing to have all this shit thrown at my feet. I’m the one who’s been pushed to their limit. I’m the one who’s had to convince Cody to take responsibility for his actions and yet that stupid bitch has the audacity to blame me, talk shit to me, and act like I’ve completely disregarded her feelings about everything WHEN I HAVEN’T. FUCK...
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
getoffmybloghoe: when you lose your phone in the blanket and you just
milfordman: reasons black clothing is superior everyone knows that you’re a fucking badass everything matches you look like you could disappear into the void at any given moment what are stains
headsfullofbeez: i’m in love with my son
I love being mommy. Jaxon is almost 3 weeks old now and is growing soo fast! I love the little noises he makes and the adorable toothless smile he gives me right before I feed him. Everyone says he only smiles if he’s dreaming or passing gas but I find that to be bullshit, sometimes he looks at me and just smiles and lights up in a different way. He’s so perfect to me, I love the...
supermegafoxyawesomehotnot: teruteruhanamura: im fucking cryiNG OH MY GOD???? THIS GUY FROM SHREK IS CALLED LORD FARQUAAD RIGHT??? AND FARQUAAD SOUNDS A LOT LIKE FUCKWAD WHEN U SAY IT LORD FUCKWAD HOW DID THAT ONE SLIP PAST SAY IT WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT
Person: Hi I'm Christian.
Person: Hi I'm Jewish.
Person: Hi I'm Muslim.
Person: Hi I'm Wiccan.
Person: Hi I'm atheist.
Person: Hi I'm Buddhist.
Person: Hi I'm Hindu.
Person: Hi I believe in this and you're wrong so I'm going to tell you all about how wrong you are.
Me: Get the fuck out of my face before I hit you in the face with a frozen turkey.
esexist: my computer describes my life better than anyone
i’m no gynecologist but i know a cunt when i see one
crrocs: Me scrolling through facebook 1. can you not 2. that status is stolen from tumblr 3. please put some clothes on 4. why are you allowed to breathe 5. nobody cares 6. again that’s from tumblr 7. no you’re not a model
Anonymous asked: Just wanted to say that I'm SO proud of you and Kaitlyn for being so civil and adult like with each other. Yalls sons are brothers and if they are going to have each other, its important that y'all get along. Seriously it makes me so happy. And also a little reminder, make sure Cody spends special bonding time with Keelin so he doesn't get jealous of the baby because he's at...
unsuccessfulmetalbenders: narutoe: i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows get out